Letter to myself

It is time for you to take the first step. The first step is to realize that you have been asleep. If you realize that you have been asleep, then you are awake. Realizing you have been asleep is the first step. Taking that step is the purpose of your existence. Everything around you is speaking to you. It is telling you that you are sleeping. The universe is waiting for you to meet yourself.

You are here for a reason. That reason has been forgotten. You don't remember what you are, or why you are happening. Not only have you forgotten... you have forgotten that you have forgotten. The first step is to realize that you have been asleep. The second step is to remember that you have forgotten. The second step flows naturally from the first, and the first step flows naturally from where you are right now.

These words I write are not metaphors. These words I write are not mysterious. They are simple, direct, and true. You are asleep. You can realize you are asleep. If you realize you are asleep, you can wake up, and when you wake up, you will remember that you have forgotten. This is as far as I have travelled. I have realized I am asleep. I have remembered that I have forgotten.

So far, everything I've written is from direct experience. I have experienced it all directly, and know it to be true. The next thing that I write is belief. It is faith. I have no basis for believing it, other than what my heart tells me.

We forgot, and then we fell asleep. I have been awake, and remembered that I forgot. I believe that what was forgotten, can be remembered. I believe that something was lost, and it can be found. I believe that the search for it is the purpose not only of our existence, but of all life on earth. I believe that we are lost, and that we can find our way home.

I can't describe any of this in a way that you can understand it. I can't give this to you. I can't find a way to make it cross the immense gulf between one person's experience and another's. We are each an entire universe in and of ourselves, with inmeasurable gulfs between us, using these symbols to try to communicate across the void. I can't encode this within our symbols. I can't pass it on to you. I can't make you understand me. I just ask that you believe me when I say that I have found something. I have found that something is missing. I have found that we are all sleeping. I have found that we can wake up. I believe that we can find what was lost.

All I can do is give you a direction. If you look in that direction, if you follow this first clue, maybe you can see what I have seen. I don't know. I do know I have to try to show you though, because I feel so incredibly alone.

Look at your hand. Touch it with your other hand. Feel it's presence. Understand it's realness. Understand your own realness.

Everything you are, the very matter that your body is made of, was forged in the heart of a burning star. Do you understand that? Think about it. You can touch your hand. You can feel it there. What you are touching, what you are touching yourself with, what you are experiencing this very moment with, all of it, was forged in the heart of a burning star. This isn't a story. This isn't a metaphor. This is real. What you are made out of is as old as the universe itself. What are you? What is this? Wake up! You are asleep!

Brian