Words I wrote recently to a friend:

There's no room left in me for doubt. She is singing to me through everything.

This is not a place I ever thought I would be. I have spent my whole life so fiercely saying no. I was strong, too. When I want to be, I can be intractable. She would show me time and time again that she was there and yet my ability to deny was inexhaustable.

Until now. Now, I've been pinned. For days now, my constant companion, my inner skeptic, the denier, has attacked my experience from every angle possible. The assault was relentless... but it was also completely ineffective. I've been defeated.

This defeat is the most precious, wonderful, beautiful, humbling gift I have ever been given. My experience is still here, with me, perfectly clear. I can pull it out, and mull over it, turn and twist it, examine it, enter it.. and when I enter it, the top of my head unhinges as I remember that I met ~her~ and she was ~real~.

Love is. She is untamed, free, dangerous... so ferocious and primal and intense that she burns like flame, burns until the wall between joy and sorrow crumbles and they are recognized as two sides of the exact same thing.